Melodrama

So this is what happened - we put a bid in on the house, and then I cried for a half an hour, reminiscing about when I painted the bathroom nine months pregnant with Riley, and decorating the nurseries, and the neighbors that we love.

Today was a beautiful Spring day, and I could see from my window that the neighbors were outside playing. We hung out on my friend's patio - eight kids, four adults - and ate popsicles. When the baby started to show signs of being tired, I brought her in, plopped her in her crib, and went back outside with the baby monitor on.

I was supposed to hear by seven o'clock tonight. I waited and waited as the time went by, and eventually went to a friend's tupperware party at eight, cell phone clutched in white knuckles.

My husband called me from the party to tell me that our neighbors, the ones I had eaten popsicles with only hours before, the ones who had come to the open house just as a curiosity because we were looking to buy it, the ones that told us that if we asked them not to bid, that they wouldn't, had outbid us on the house.

This was my worst case scenario. I didn't get the house, and I was OK with that, because it was a ton of money and would need about a hundred grand worth of work to get it up to snuff. The FOUR other bidders were my neighbors, a couple that was downsizing from a much more expensive house, a couple from Virginia that grew up in the neighborhood, and a couple who own some company in need of a bigger home. I figured that one of the others would get it, and that would be OK.

This is not OK.

Did you ever have a friend that liked the guy you liked, and he dated her instead of you?

That's what this feels like. Because I was OK staying here because I love our little corner, and now one of us is leaving, and dammit it isn't me.

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit.

That's all I can say right now. I know that sometimes the greatest gift is an unanswered prayer (thanks Joc) but I'm pissed off right now, and wondering who my new neighbors will be.

Thanks for checking in to see what was going on - it was nice to see your insight and concern. It's made me feel so much better about this whole thing.