Note to Self:

Never, ever, in the rush to make gravy (the RED kind people, I'm Italian) before the kids get off to school, chop tons of garlic and then put your contact lenses in without washing your hands.

Also, check to see if your daughter left her Barbie dolls on the stairs before descending with a laundry basket. It will help to avoid falling down the stairs , thereby losing at least two layers of skin off of your elbow.

The pain, people, the pain.