Saturday, August 27, 2005

The (un)official end to summer

So yesterday was the last day at the pool for us this year. Every day this summer, we have spent the morning home, or at camp, or Summer Playground, while Adelyn napped. Then we would eat lunch, in the car or at home, or at Burger King, or McDonald's, and then head off to the pool with sunscreen and swim diapers and pool toys in hand. There we would swelter for approximately two and a half hours until it was time for Adelyn's second nap.

The kids would play, and eventually get beaten by the pool, lying on the edge in exhaustion and joy. Adelyn would toddle back and forth from the pool to our spot in the shade, pouring Cinnamon Life out of the box and eating it off of the grass, or climbing into her stroller with fistfuls of cereal.

This summer will officially be known as the Summer the Children Discovered Ring Pops at the Snack Bar, and they spent a good amount of our pool time either begging for money or wandering up to the snack bar alone, ordering sugary treats to be enjoyed for hours after we returned home. Last summer, Riley had already begun the independent trek to the snack bar, buying me bottles of water for $1 a pop, but he hadn't known about the candy until this year. And as all with things, Bella began consuming Ring Pops at the same time that her brother did. It was trial and error of course, as we experimented with Baby Bottle Pops (Too sour! Too expensive!) and gummy pizzas, burgers and hot dogs (Yeah well, they continued on with those, so maybe there was no error in that one).

As much as I like to complain, I have to say that the Ring Pops are a vast improvement from last year's obsession with the 25 cent snack bar twin pop, the one that dripped all down the front of the their bathing suits, and faces and hands, and then stained everything bright red, or orange, or blue, for at least the next week. Of course, Adelyn, still too young for Ring Pops, has enjoyed a few popsicles this summer, leading me up the hill to the snack bar by her hand and pointing to the window of pleasure. Twin Pops Mommy! If only she could talk.

Unfortunately, this last pool morning, I awoke feeling nauseous. I drank some beer the night before (Not even three! Over a four hour period!) along with jalepeno poppers and lots and lots of crab fries and cheese sauce. Being that I ate before and during my alcohol consumption, I was shocked that I felt so sick. I ended up throwing up all morning, putting Adelyn down for a 10:00 am nap, plunking down two (nutritious!) frosted strawberry pop tarts for the other two and then proceeded to curl up in a ball in bed for two hours by myself. The children built a fort with the couch cushions, watched TV, and left me alone, bless their little souls.

Go ahead, call Child Protective Services. I tried to get Vincent to come home, but he couldn't. And my neighbors couldn't take the kids because they're all at the beach. I was really really desperate.

It turns out that I actually have touch of a stomach bug, because Vincent has it too and it's now Saturday and I'm still sick. Thankfully the vomiting has stopped because I'm going to work tonight. At least I can stop feeling guilty about being a hung over Stay At Home Mom yada yada yada be more responsible yada yada good role model for the kids blah blah blah. Stomach bug. Bad timing. And the kids have diarrhea too (try changing six of those diapers and not puking) so it's not just Vincent and I.

Sooo....The last day at the pool and there I was, hunched over, numbly eating a soft pretzel, unable to indulge in those phenomenal fresh cut French fries that I was planning on eating to celebrate the end of our pool ritual. The kids asked for Burger King. Drive through? Sure! Mommy's insides are trying to fling themselves out by force! Whatever you want kids!

Nobody was at the pool because the whole town is at the beach. The kids didn't even go in the water, but hung out in the playground playing tether ball. I have given birth to Napoleon Dynamite.

Vincent was out at a Fantasy Football Draft Party (which he couldn't really enjoy, wolfing down Tums and trying not to vomit), so we zoomed off to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner so I wouldn't have to actually cook.

It was a stellar nutritional day. With prizes - Transformers and Care Bears from BK, a mini rocket launcher and nail stickers from Chuck E. Cheese. Stellar. A high point of my maternal career, I must say.

So that's it. There's no redemption, because we leave Monday for two weeks at the beach, and when we return the pool will be closed. Well, OK, they are open one last weekend, but by then we have soccer games (I still can't believe that I signed them up for that) and a birthday party so I can't imagine that we'll go.

I will try very hard not to vomit in the guest bathroom of the psych hospital (I work there, remember??). I do not want my face that close to that toilet. Please wish me luck, because My Lord I feel awful.



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