Thursday, January 20, 2005

If you don't hear from me in a few days, call 911

I think I'm slowly bleeding to death. I know this is probably TMI, but seriously, I got my period for the first time since Adelyn's birth on Monday and I have since been wearing both a super tampon AND a maxi pad at all times. I have ruined several pairs of underwear, a pair of Gap jeans, and some jogging pants (of course I don't jog - let me clarify - these are MATERNITY jogging pants that I find too comfortable to give up. That thing about your maternity clothes BECOMING your clothes after three children? Horribly, TRUE.).

So when I collapse from anemia or blood loss or something, and I'm home alone all day with children too young to dial 911, how long do you think I have before the angels start singing and dwarves begin advising to "head into the light"?? Ugh. Just pray that it will be quick.

On another note, I'm throwing resumes out there in hopes to begin counseling part-time. This will allegedly finance our SUPER-DUPER HOME ADDITION and provide me with granite countertops and a Jacuzzi bath tub. Oh, and wall ovens. TWO of them.

Problem is, I don't much feel like doing counseling. I LOVED my old job but, in social work, three kids in day care does not leave one with a huge profit. Even so, we would have come out ahead and I considered going back to work. But, my husband pointed out that I could work part time evenings and weekends and I'd only need to work for like, one shift at McDonald's and bring home the same amount of money. That hurt my ego, dammit. I have a masters degree from a fucking Ivy League Institution (who would strip me of it quickly if they hard the language coming out of this keyboard!) and I deserve a High Paying Job! Vincent also points out that social workers contribute nothing to the economy and that's why we are so underpaid.

Vincent's little "I'm an MBA" theories really piss me off sometimes.

So, for the past few years I was actually doing administrative social work, systemic stuff regarding child weflare policy, and advocacy for child welfare families in accessing other social services and education. For some perspective on my role, Vincent points out that if I had the same hierarchical level in his corporation, we could have granite countertops and a chef and HE could stay home with the kids (you see why he pisses me off now, don't you?).

Unfortunately, you can't really do that systems stuff part time - so it's back to therapy, which I also enjoy, but not nearly as much. I've also looked into some other interesting jobs, and one organization (one you know!) called to schedule an interview with me as I was typing this. It is next Wednesday morning, and the ids are at preschool, but I have no idea yet who will watch the baby.

After having the same job for 10 years, this job hunt stuff is giving me chest pains.


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